Sunday, April 10

Friends and Family

I'm not talking the latest tariff from your 'phone company, I'm talking real friends and family, the sort that you're born and have no choice with or the sort you make, and choose, perhaps for a lifetime.

This year my life is turning upside down. A member of my family seriously lets me down, another member of my family becomes seriously ill, and a best friend lets me down.

Funnily enough, it's the friends actions that hurt more than family let downs, as the latter are half-expected and true to form whilst the former are people you choose as opposed to are born with. This friend is someone we do/did everything for for each other and sharing everything. But he crossed a line. Perhaps I was cruel in my anger to him, but he should know me too, and deep down know where it started ...and where he wants it to end up.

All friends have plusses and minuses. Hey can be a real pain-in-the-ass, arrogant as hell, stubborn as a mule, and sometimes close-minded but then, hey..... so can I. He can also be very loyal, giving, funny, astute, broader than their upbringing, supportive and more. He can make me smile with his ambitions but he has dreams and even if some make me laugh and I wouldn't choose to share them, good luck to him, one day he'll probably achieve them. As we all do, he has his demons, and some have bedevilled him for most of his young adult life.
Can I forgive him? Yes. Will he forgive me? Probably not openly, 'cos he's stubborn.

But the family member who let me down I won't forgive. Friends can fuck-up, make-up and move on. Family who repeatedly screw you don't deserve 5th chances.

Meanwhile I must concentrate on my son, who is ill and needs me. It'll cost me. In time, money and friendships. But its something I must do and I want to do.

Life turns another circle. Maybe it'll turn again.

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